Dying to self was something that I never really understood before YWAM North Cascades. Well, I knew the concept, but I didn’t know the application on how to surrender worldly passions and die to the flesh. One of the themes that I have noticed that most of the leaders and speakers have been telling us is that “What you put into DTS is what you are going to get out of DTS.” This quote really stuck with me and God used it to help me die to myself.

God placed it on my heart to go even further with him than I ever had previously experienced.

Halfway through the second week of my Discipleship Training School, I was confused about how to apply this, and how to actually die to self. But it was this week that everything changed. God placed it on my heart to go even further with him than I ever had previously experienced. It started out like any other Monday of the DTS course. We had an hour of quiet time in the morning and then an hour of worship like usual, but little did I know that God had a greater plan for me that day… a plan that was unexpected and convicting. I asked myself: “How can I put more into DTS and get more out of these valuable 6 months of intensity?”  Then it hit me like a flood overflowing in my soul, everything seemed so clear, I didn’t ask God what theme He wanted me to do when applying for DTS, I just did what my flesh wanted. What my worldly passions wanted. The adventure DTS was the most common theme, one that I had dreamed of for so many months leading up to DTS. This is what I thought God was calling me to. The mountains, the hikes, the experiences, the wonder in seeking God out in nature… it all sounded amazing to me. But then I thought maybe that was my worldly desires, and not truly what God wanted for my DTS experience. I didn’t put much prayer into my decision of what theme I wanted to do, but instead just did the theme that sounded the most appealing to me.

I surrendered my flesh and surrendered myself and, in seeking God’s heart, He told me what He wanted.

This was when God pushed me and called me to something greater. Truly dying to myself and seeking out what he wants for my life, and what he has planned for these six months. Going back to God’s unchanging voice and realizing I heard him wrong. I surrendered my flesh and surrendered myself and, in seeking God’s heart, He told me what He wanted. He wanted me to join the Classic DTS. To lay down my desires to do the adventure theme and just simply focus on getting to know Him through DTS. Then everything started to make sense. The views, the mountains, the hikes, the experiences. There will be a time for all of that, and I do believe God has called people to seek him out in that theme, but for me, He has a different plan. A plan of surrendering and truly seeking His face, and what He wants for me.  A plan of leaving behind my own worldly passions and desires and being obedient in my calling. A plan of dying to self.